Beyond ‘purple cupcakes’: Fort Rucker spouse advocates for military kids at Pentagon

FORT RUCKER, Ala.-- Military families know that a permanent change of station happens every few years or less, requiring packing boxes and updating addresses. For Army children, it can mean starting over at a new school, adjusting to different high school graduation requirements, trying out for new sports teams, and maybe even beginning the driver’s license process over due to differing state laws.

For Kim Cody, military spouse, veteran, and mother of 2, those challenges have gone from a personal frustration to a call to action.

Cody recently had the opportunity to speak with leaders at the Pentagon about Army family quality-of-life issues, bringing attention to real-life challenges that active-duty military children face in schools and communities. Alongside her were 2 fellow Army spouses, all 3 being military academy graduates themselves.

“We have to have that bigger discussion,” Cody said. “We need to be talking about these kids every day. Our military children deserve to have a voice in the room.”

Among the issues Cody and other spouses took to leaders are the inconsistent application of the Military Interstate Children’s Compact (MIC3), access to children’s medical records beyond a certain age, school enrollment, athletic participation, graduation requirements, driver’s licenses and state policies that can make it even more challenging for military families to navigate. As if the move and starting over wasn’t a challenge enough, according to Cody. MIC3 is intended to ease the educational challenges faced by military-connected children as they move between states. However, Cody said families can still face obstacles in how policies are understood and applied differently.

“Every state runs it a little differently,” she said. “That’s not helpful if it’s not at the federal level across the board.” Cody said the problem has continued over the years due to Families not being made aware of what policies exist. School officials in military communities may not always be familiar with the policies that apply to military-connected students.

“The first person you meet at a school is the registrar and the front office and the counselors,” Cody said. “And if they’re not up to date on policy, then you’re not getting anywhere.”

Cody noted situations where military children have had roadblocks registering for school mid-year or participate in extracurricular activities because of differences in state requirements. Athletic eligibility can be difficult for students who arrive after tryouts have already occurred, and in some areas the tryouts may be an entire year prior to the season.

“Our Military children should have an opportunity to immediately participate in school activities when they arrive,” said Cody, “Rather than losing months of opportunities simply because their family moved. Sports and activities make a difference.”

She described military children who have moved multiple times and arrive at a new school only to discover that their credits do not transfer as expected. Different graduation requirements can force students to repeat courses or take classes they otherwise would not need which can be especially difficult for students preparing for college or service academies, where academic and extracurricular opportunities can play an important role.

“We’re not doing right by these kids, not giving all of them the opportunities for their future equal to their peers.” she said.

The issue is personal for Cody, whose own children have experienced the challenges associated with moving between school systems. Her husband, Col. Clint Cody, Army Aviation Center of Excellence Chief-of-Staff, was also a military teen moving to three different high schools and faced obstacles due to transferring of credits and ability to establish into leadership and athletic roles during the moves. Kim Cody believes that military kids are resilient, but that it doesn’t give an excuse for the system having holes.

“Yes, they’re resilient,” Cody said. “Get them a purple shirt. Give them a purple cupcake.” Recognizing military children during events such as the Month of the Military Child is important, but awareness alone does not solve the underlying problems. The key point Cody brought to leaders at the Pentagon was that military children need policies that provide tangible protection and consistent access to education and extracurricular opportunities.

For Fort Rucker parents wanting to do something today, she says that we all have a responsibility to advocate ourselves.

“Get smart,” Cody said, encouraging parents not to accept the first “no” they hear when it comes to their children. For families who are new to military life, Cody recommends learning about the policies that affect their families, including MIC3, state education requirements, residency rules, and other protections available to military families. Spouses connect with Army Community Service here on Fort Rucker and with other military spouses to learn the policies of the state where they live.

“Don’t take no for an answer,” Cody said. “When you’re a family and you’re having a challenge with your child, do not take no for an answer.”

Cody also emphasized that advocacy should not fall solely on military families. Local schools and organizations can play a role by understanding the unique challenges military children face and ensuring their policies account for students who move frequently.

“Military kids have to have a seat at the table,” she said. The goal is not for every spouse to become an advocate on a national level, according to Cody. Instead, she wants families to understand their rights, ask the questions and share what they learn with other military families.

“It’s a team effort,” she said. “We all have to work together to get the best for our kids.”

For Cody, the issue ultimately comes down to the same challenge faced by military families everywhere - balancing service to the nation with the needs of the families who make that service possible.

“We’re all just moms and dads trying to support our country and also our family at the same time,” she said. Advocacy for our kids’ unique challenges begins with simply asking questions and speaking up when a policy creates an unnecessary barrier for their child.

Military children may not always have a voice in the decisions that affect them, Cody said, but as their parents we can make sure they have a seat at the table.

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